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For all the parents who never gave a chance to their child’s dream
Know your child the way he is and not the way the teachers tell you
When Armaan was first sent to school, he was introduced to the discipline, rules, and classmates. After coming back home, he discussed it with Mr and Mrs Agarwal. He talked about his teachers, the class and the benches, the colour of the walls, the huge playground, the boys and girls with whom he sat and had lunch or played with throughout the day.
The next day he was introduced to his books and academics. He was also introduced to the academic pressure, although at a very low percentage. When the teacher started reading out from her text book, Armaan noticed that the class was quieter than the previous day, the boys were not playing and the girls were not talking to each other. He also noticed an unusual behaviour that everyone was following; the class was either looking at the blackboard and nodding at the teacher or looking down in the book. When he returned home and told his parents about his unusual day, Mr. Agarwal laughed it off and said, "This is what school is all about. You don't have time to waste on silly pranks and games. You should get used to the disciplined life of school." And Armaan did so. He made himself get used to it. He sometimes had the urge to talk to someone about it but found his friends busy with their tuition classes and he knew what parents would say. So he decided to go with it.
When Armaan was promoted to class 5, he wrote an essay about his dream to become a Pilot. The whole class burst into loud applause. When he went home and showed them the star on his notebook, his parents told him how proud they were. With so much of appreciation from his parents and teachers, he decided to work on his dream.
Armaan was once reading an article on Captain Siddartha Gurung when his dad came into his room. They were having an engaging conversation when Mr. Agarwal told him that he wanted his son to become an architect. Without giving it another thought, Armaan decided to make his father proud and agreed upon taking architecture classes.
In a school assignment, Armaan wrote his first poem. He didn't get over-confident. To test whether it was just a fluke, he tried writing some more for magazines and online. Everyone appreciated it. Some even said that his writings were extra ordinary. Once he was sure that he had a talent in himself, he kept it in front of his parents. He was expecting the same reaction when he had told them about his dream of becoming a Pilot.
But the opposite happened. Mrs. Agarwal burst into tears, accusing her son of being in bad company and comparing him to the neighbour's son. Mr. Agarwal couldn't believe his sons words. He threw questions at Armaan about financial security, stability in life and job opportunities. He came into the room ,tore all his writings and asked him to only concentrate on his studies.
Armaan opted for Science with Maths in class 11. He went by the teachers advice and joined tuitions for his subjects to make his base stronger. But he found himself getting too busy and losing balance between school and tuitions as they had tests and activities every alternate day. It exhausted him.
Even with all the attention and hard work, he barely passed his first-term exams. His parents started talking to him about their expectations and how they were looking forward to his photo in the newspaper with other kids. Armaan could feel the pressure from his parents increasing but didn't say anything. He decided to write it down in a journal. No matter how much he tried, his grades remained the same. His friends suggested that he convinces his parents to change his stream to Arts because it was only supposed to get difficult from here. But he knew his parents opinion and decided to not talk about it. Somehow, he was promoted to class 12.
On the first day itself, Armaan realised that the pressure was more than ever. He didn't believe in himself, his dreams or capabilities. All he could see were books around him, his parents expectations and tuition assignments. One evening, he came back from his tuitions and asked his parents to join him on the table.
"I am really not able to cope up Maa. I have tried a lot but the pressure is too much. I complete one topic and I have five topics pending. It's getting hard for me to retain my notes. I keep forgetting everything. I don't know what to do.." Armaan said and sighed.
"What rubbish are you talking about? This is what you've always wanted to do! Can't you make an effort for your own dreams?" Screamed Mrs. Agarwal.
"It's his friends. They keep telling him nonsense." Mr. Agarwal said and got up from the table.
"Dad, I am serious about this. It is really getting hard for me to.." Mr. Agarwal cut him mid sentence.
"Go in your room and study for your test. We are not discussing this nonsense here."
"I have no idea what this boy is going to do with his life." Mrs. Agarwal said and left his son sitting alone on the table.
Armaan didn't give up. He started studying for his pre-board examinations. On the day of his result, his teachers emptied their bag of complaints and concerns on his parents. Mr and Mrs Agarwal stopped talking to their son. Armaan kept going to school and tuitions, giving everything he had, trying hard to score well. On the last day of his board exams, he realised that he hadn't done well and might even flunk. When he told this to his teachers, they told him that being nervous is normal and asked him to concentrate on his NATA exams which would help him get into a good architecture college.
While preparing for the entrance exam, Armaan wasn't able to recollect anything but his dream of becoming a writer. He tried to convince his parents again but in vain.
Two months passed. A night before his board results, he wrote a poem about his years in school, the pressure and the way he had been ridiculed. After finishing it, he went and hugged his parents and apologized for his silly behaviour and promised to be a good son.
As soon as the bedroom's lights went off, Armaan took his mother's dupatta from the cupboard. It had his mother's smell. He brought it into the room and threw it over the fan, making a loop. All he could think of was disappointment. He was scared that he might fail his exam the next day and bring a bad name to his family. He tore a page from his journal and held it in his hand. The night passed by.
The next morning, when Mr.Agarwal checked the results, he saw that his son had done really well. Excited, Mr. and Mrs. Agarwal went into Armaan's room. They knocked twice and when he didn't open the door, Mr. Agarwal opened it
There was an eerie silence in the room . Armaan's body was hanging on the ceiling fan with a note in his hand.
"Mom and Dad, forgive me for not being able to bear the pressure. I am not strong enough. I don't deserve your love. I am not good enough. I could never be a good son, friend or student. I can see everyone having a bright future but myself. I am lost. I need to put an end to all the frustration, pressure and most of all, the disappointment I bring to our family and my school. You will not have to deal with my problems anymore."
As twitter celebrity @raggedtag says,
“Mera beta hamesha first aata hai syndrome has ruined everything”.