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Talking Taboos with your children is an art.
Talking to your children about sex education can be tricky.
Has your child ever ambushed you with the dreaded question, “Where do babies come from?” If yes then you are not alone. A recently launched online series Sex Chat with Pappu & Papa has the answers for you and most others of your ilk.
The Web series has a 7-year-old protagonist who is educated about sex and related themes by his father in a fun, healthy manner. Its first episode garnered over 400,000 views within 5 days.
Indian parents traditionally have shied away from talking about sex in the drawing rooms as it is still considered as a taboo. But experts say it is extremely important to tell the children the truth.
“These days, children are being exposed to a lot through movies and the Internet. Adol-escence starts at the age of 7, and even though the child may not understand what is happening, their bodies respond to it. If the parent doesn’t give them answers, they will get them from elsewhere, which is not healthy,” says psychologist Sujata Raman, adding that it must be explained in an age appropriate way.
Actress and television show host Tara Sharma recounts her experience when her own 5 and 7-year-olds popped the question. “I decided to answer as honestly and age appropriately as possible. I said, ‘You know when a mummy and daddy really love each other like me and daddy, sometimes they come very close together in a special kind of hug, and a seed gets planted in mumma that in 9 to 10 months grows into the baby. That is how you both came into my tummy and grew. So you are made by both of us’,” Tara says, adding, “They seemed content with my answer so I think it worked.”
However, Srikanth Acharya, a consultant psychologist, has a different point of view. According to him, the right age for kids to be educated about sex is when they are 12 to 14 years old, according to the WHO. He explains, “This is when psychosexual characteristics of one’s body and sexuality emerge. Parents need to be aware and educate themselves about sex so they don’t get too flustered when they come across situations like these or are asked questions that are considered taboo by them.”
Though sex education starts at home, schools also have an important part to play. Gita Karan, founder-principal of Gitanjali Senior School feels that sex education must be made mandatory in all schools. “Parents in India are shy to speak to their children, so schools have to fill in their places some times. We have sex education classes for standards VIII and up, but for the younger kids, teachers are trained to handle these questions with care, only when asked,” says Gita.
Adding that sex education needs to be honest and universal in schools — without segregating boys and girls — Tara says, “In a book called Good Touch Bad Touch, the author explains that we should not use funny names for children to call their private parts. Just like we say nose or ears, we should say penis. I initially felt awkward doing this myself, but I realised why she makes this point. It is so that kids do not think there is something different and odd with that part as that may increase curiosity.”